Recently in spiro Category

Unlike most people that receive spam in their email inboxes, most of mine is no longer about pornographic websites, dodgy pyramid marketing schemes or even fake cheap viagra pills which don't work by the way. Surprisingly the vast majority of the spam in my inbox comes from an unlikely source - Christians.

I kid you not. The vast majority of spam emails come from random pastors, churches and christian marketing networks in the USA, none of which I remember signing up for, and it sickens me. I remember signing up for a youth pastors mailing list years ago when I was actually a youth pastor -which then stopped mailing out, but since then my address has obviously been passed around to a whole variety of Christian capitalists, hoping to guilt me into a hefty donation for some pastors new slush fund, or to invest in the latest 'uplifting' set of hymns on sale, or more worryingly, urging me to get up and protest with the American right wing about some law that doesn't effect me one iota. In fact, I should protest according to this site because it will affect my right to hate and discriminate against another person. Thank you Christian America for being the moral compass of us all.

Seriously. The latest crap I have been receiving has been from an American right wing groups called "Christian Response" and "RightMarch.com". If I lived in the USA I might consider legal action against them about the constant unsolicited spam, but I am pretty sure some Christian redneck would shoot me for it, because, you know... thats what Redneck Christians do. Shoot pro-abortionists, gays and people telling them to be reasonable. Because last time I read the bible, that was exactly the same thing Jesus did, although he had way madder ninja skills.

Their latest rants have been about complaining about giving equal rights to homosexuals in the USA, and providing them special protection against 'hate crimes', because as an American, my right to hate and discriminate other minorities should be protected by law right? Jesus said "You should love your neighbor - except if they are gay or lesbian, a democrat or pro-abortionist, an atheist or a Muslim - other than that, love pretty much everyone." I guess it is ok for right wing Christians to become Xenophobic, insecure and hateful...

They go on to protest an upcoming bill that provides amnesty to the thousands of illegal immigrants already living inside the USA in abject poverty. To be honest, I don't know the ins and outs of American policy regarding the illigal immigrants in the USA, but they seem intent on stemming the 'tide' of illegal immigrants attempting to invade and destroy the American way of life.

Finally, they rant against the "propaganda" that is global warming. Oh, the world isn't heating up? I'm pretty sure that the uneducated redneck masses would know better than the worlds scientific community right Cleitus?. I believe that the world is heating up, but at the moment there are far more pressing ecological and humanitarian issues that need adressing first, like pollution and overfishing and disease in Africa. But I'm pretty sure that the Right Wing Christians are more intent on saving their economic interests and investments in their industry than diverting attention away from global warming to other humanitarian issues.
Rightmarch, please stay away from the keyboard if you have been drinking.

I mean seriously. Once again it seems that the right wing fanatical Christians are more interested in protecting their own rights, economic interests and status in the USA rather than putting others first the way Jesus instructed, and they are set on using the same types of scare tactics that the Bush (and Howard) administrations used in convincing us to go to war with Iraq... oh wait - you still believe that stuff huh? And you have a video telling us all that George W was right about Iraq and its weapons of mass destruction?

Oh, not quite. You just said he was right, but forgot to mention all the bits where he wasn't actually right, and was in fact proven to be quite wrong. I'm guessing you didn't mention that the administration mislead the public and lied about 'weapons of mass destruction', but hey it's just a case of "the end justifies the means" right? I have no doubt that Sadaam was bad for Iraq, the same way that Mugabe is bad for Zimbabwe. Oh wait? Do the right wing Americans even know who Mugabe is, and where Zimbabwe is? Of course not, Zimbabwe doesn't produce nearly enough oil to be included in an American atlas.

I guess what I am trying to say in a nutshell is to keep your naive right wing fundamentalist uninformed misleading twaddle to yourselves and to stop emailing me, because the more you complain and protest, the more I want terrorists to win less I like you...

In case you haven't already noticed, I like to find the funny side in things, and I like to laugh... a lot. The way I see it is that if there is a laugh to be had, then pretty much nothing is off limits. Not even my own faith.

So I hereby present the first Sunday Sacreledge on LOS. If you are easily offended, just skip over this post, and find something else to read... something else on LOS that is.

My little sisters aged 6 & 8 (or thereabouts) have set up a mini-shop downstairs in the rumpus room, trying to make a bit of money selling books, bottles of softdrink, blankets and soft toys to the rest of the family. Mind you, they are selling things that don't actually belong to them, selling my parents bibles, all my soft drinks, and my sisters soft toys. These kids are the ultimate second hand sales sharks.

Among the items for sale are a few christian childrens books, which my youngest 6 year old sister was trying to convince me to buy...

"You can buy books about Jesus..."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, do you know Jesus?"

"What?"

"You need to know Jesus or you're going to Hell!"

"Who is going to Hell?"

"You... maybe."

"Oh. Terrible shame that."

If hocking stolen second hand goods doesn't work out for her, I'm sure my little she could get a job as one of those old school fire and brimstone pentecostal preachers.

Paris Hilton will soon be donning her orange overalls with matching orange fake tan, and heading off to jail. Of course, she thinks that the whole thing is a bad idea, and my faith in the legal system has been totally destroyed. I could have sworn that it was a constitutional right for stars to break the law time and time again with no more than a slap on the wrist. Hollywood will burn over this.

For those that don't know, she was sentenced to 45 days imprisonment for repeatedly violating her driving probation. Basically, she lost her licence, and then decided to drive anyway - while drunk. Twice. Hey, I am all for giving second chances and hoping that they get on the straight and narrow, but I think Paris has really overstayed her welcome. She obviously has no respect for the law, and expects that her money and fame will just come to her aid. Oh, and that whole "I was dealt with harshly because I am famous!" thing? Please. Imagine you were a black middle aged man, caught repeatedly driving drunk without a licence... 45 days would be a laugh for them.

Why am I writing about this? I will admit, as someone who thinks she is a little too... precious... I do find it funny that she is going to prison, so 50% of this post is me with a smug look on my face. The other 50% is to head slap some other people out there. Namely those from the christian movement"The Resistance".

Finding Paris' jail time amusing is one thing, but using her jail time to hold a party 'celebrating' her incarceration for religious grandstanding is just plain cruel. Same goes for her cds. Burning them because she sounds like a tortured monkey is one thing, but to burn them out of a political-christian motivation is just stupid plain old grandstanding. "Oh, look at me... I'm so moral because I'm burning her Cds".

What is worse, this isn't an isolated incident. I have received plenty of emails from the christian right groups in the USA (How they got my email I do not know) demanding that all christian Americans protest against law changes in the USA.

What other evil laws are christians protesting about I hear you ask? Well, an equal rights law for homosexuals for one. Another email demanded action over a so called 'amnesty' for immigrant workers, who flee to the USA for a better life. Apparently many christians in the USA believe that they are superior because they were born inside the USA, and the land is for themselves alone... "No room in the Inn, stay out in the manger".

And yet another email from a christian action group demanded that US citizens do their duty and protest the withdrawal of US troop, and that MORE troops should be sent to Iraq, and then on to Iran. What? Withdraw your troops from another country a world away? You are talking madness! Send aid instead of bombs? Lunacy! If the USA spent as much money on aid in the Middle East, as it has spent on its war in Iraq, I think the USA would just about be the most loved country in the world. "You need a new school? - No problems New hospital equipment? - Sure thing!"

Lets be realistic here... the war could cost up to 2 trillion dollars. I for one, happen to think that the money possibly could have been better spent elsewhere. I just see too much negative response action from so called 'christians'.

Before you all get your panties in a knot, know that I am not talking about every christian out there, I know that there are plenty of good ones out there. But really, the fundamentalists need to take a few breaths, and preferably stop talking.

Oh, and stop protesting and demanding that YOUR rights are left untouched while discriminating against others. Being a christian and not liking something doesn't mean you automatically have the right to trample over other peoples rights. Last time I checked, Christianity was about putting others first. And when I say 'putting others first' I don't mean 'putting them at number one on your hit list', like some christians decided to do, sending death threats to the artist of the sculpted chocolate Jesus.

Basically, I'm all for people voicing an opinion. But as soon as you force your opinion onto someone else, it becomes manipulation and oppression. If you want to sculpt Jesus with a penis in chocolate - by all means go ahead. I'm sure he had a penis in real life anyway, and that the chocolate tastes delicious. If you want to write a play about Jesus and his disciples being gay - go ahead. I probably won't watch it, but last time I checked I don't watch many plays on the best of weekends. Oh, and just because someone wrote a note back in highschool saying I was gay doesn't automatically make me change teams... you know what I mean?

So while the original title for this entry was going to be "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Jail for the Hoe", I decided that I kinda needed to take a step back, and realise that sometimes it is more important to love than laugh. Sometimes.

Well hasn't this new-ish pope, the "Vicarius Filii Dei", been making a few sweeping changes to catholic doctrine. John Paul II has only been gone for two short years, and already the pope is making some wholesale theological changes.

Apparently he has decided that the concept of 'Limbo', a place where unbaptised babies are sent when they die - no longer exists. The word is derived from the Latin word for Edge, and theologically is for people that just don't quite cut the mustard. Close but not close enough.

Think of Limbo like the theological 'pull ups'. You no longer wear nappies, but haven't yet progressed to normal underpants - it is halfway between wallowing in your own filth or being able to go swimming at the beach without shame. And you even get a patronising pat on the head to let you know they are happy you tried your best when you only do a little bit of wee in your pull ups, and get most of it in the toilet.

Ahh limbo, at least we still have the 'dunk brazillians walking under a stick' kind of limbo...

To read the news.com.au story click here.

An old rescued post from nineteensix

Tonight I played Dodgeball with workmates for a company 'bonding' exercise... It was fun, everyone lined up, jumping, dodging, balling, and laughing. I'd never played before, so I thought I'd better just sit back, get a feel for it, and go for the basics - dodging, catching and throwing. It wasn't long before our team (including the store manager) was on a streak, winning 3 games straight. In those three games, I was the last man standing in our team, and managed to win numerous 1 on 1 situations... Pretty soon the manager was calling our team 'Will's wonderboys'.

Then it all went wrong. The other teams began to target me, and I got cocky. I wasn't focusing on basics, I was going for glory. No more small game, I was THE 'Wonderboy'. Tunnel vision, fatigue and lack of focus took over. How like Christian life, we start out full of enthusiasm, and focus on the basics of the small game, and God blesses us for it. But then success comes along, and "Its All me Baby". So, My three lessons of Dodgeball Christianity.

1) I was so focused on MY game, that I was unaware of THE game. I kept getting hit. 1 Corinthians 12 "For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body..." In Christian life we can be so focused on our own little service or life, and isolate something that is meant to be part of a whole... we think 'I am the Eye - I will show them the way'. Then without the ear we don't hear something, and we miss Gods call, get hit with a ball, or get mashed in the eye with a toe...

2) My arm got tired, and I focused on power rather than accuracy, missing everything and giving easy catches. I was relentless, running, ducking, moving... I didn't even THINK about slowing down... Isaiah 40:31"But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." We need to take breaks. We need to spend some time out from the game of life, rest, refuel and recharge. It stops you from burning out, and in the end that helps the team.

3) I was thinking too far ahead, about the next throw, my next target, my next moment of glory, so I kept dropping the easy percentage balls that came straight into my hand. James 4:13-14 "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit' yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring..." I needed to bring my focus back to the now and not the then. I was too obsessed with the ideal of glory, that I forgot the basics of dodging, catching and watching. Less 'One day!" and more "today!!".

Sometimes life throws a ball at us, sometimes a wrench. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Well, another Hillsong album recording has come and gone, this time at the largest indoor venue in Sydney - Acer Arena at Sydney Olympic park. And my feet and legs are sore.

Not from all the standing through the live album recording though, especially seeing as though a certain someone told me that it started at 6pm, rather than 5pm, and so my posse were a lesiurely 40 minutes late. We like to make an entrance. Not that the ten thousand odd people seemed to mind. My legs are sore from the reserves football game I played right before album recording.

When we finally managed to drive around the entire Olympic park twice, find a carpark and walk inside to door 83, I got in trouble from one of the ushers. I don't usually drive across the city to get in trouble from seating ushers or hosts, but apparently today was different. I decided to use my phone to attempt to take a panoramic photo of the entire arena full of people, which is apparently a criminal act in section 83.

If I was asian, and sitting in section 84 I could have gotten away with it, and snapped shots all night. I guess it doesn't help being white with a white phone that looks a little too camera-like.

I did manage to snap one panoramic pic at the end of the night, and a couple of other small pics during the recording which didn't turn out. Oh, and I recorded the entire last song they played on my phone as people were leaving... I figured hey, I could record it, because they certainly weren't going to use it... too many empty seats. I'm not sure if I would post the video though, even though its grainy, sounds bad and is from a distance, I would hate to infringe on someone elses copyright.

Anyways, you should see the album 'One' in stores mid year, and if you look closely in the crowd - I'm pretty sure you won't see me. Or if you do, I will be the one being told off by the large Pacific Islander security guard.

Its only a few days now until the new Hillsong United studio worship album is launched, and after listening through its tracks, I have to say that its none too shabby... infact, it is quite unshabby. Except for Joels hair. That is shabby. The album is perfectly produced, and quite lovely...

Keep an eye out for this weekend in stores for its launch, and buy two copies, one to keep, and one to give away as an early Christmas present. I hope it does well, and hopefully we see it climbing the ARIA charts towards number one. That is all.