Now, I know you might find this odd, but...

... I guess that probably isn't the best way to start a blog post, and it's probably up there with "hey, did I mention my rash?" and "Yes, I know there is an age gap, but your mother is very good looking amongst her peers", but the truth is people will read this blog post, and 99% of you will stare at the computer screen and say to yourselves "That boy probably needs a head check".

To which I reply "Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity".

Anyway, I know you might find this odd, but with all the rain we have been experiencing over the past week, I have began to notice a frustrating driving trait of mine. I call it "Obsessive compulsive windscreen wiper frugality".

Yes people, a big sounding phrase with a simple meaning... I am apparently obsessed with constantly adjusting my windscreen wiper speed to match the conditions outside the car. If it is sprinkling, I use the slowest setting with the biggest delay between wipes. Heavy rain and I'm adjusting to the super fast constant wiper speed. Normal rain and it is on normal speed constant. Light to medium rain and I am all over the adjustable intermittent wiper delay like a sweaty chubby fat kid on a cupcake.

Move from Medium rain to "ever so slightly less than medium rain" and I switch to short delay intermittent wiper speed. Drive past trees in the wind, get the extra rain drops and I am back to normal constant wiper speed. I just can't leave the speed alone.

Driving in Medium rain at 60kmph, and the wipers are at a normal constant speed. Stop for a set of traffic lights, and I don't need the wipers to be going at normal constant speed anymore, it is time for some OCD wiper frugality, so I switch back to medium/short delay intermittent... lights go green, and as I pick up speed I adjust the freaking wipers again to medium constant.

Do you know I ACTUALLY feel embarrassed when I realise I am stopped at the traffic lights and it is only a tiny sprinkling of rain and I still have my wipers going full tilt? I know, crazy! But I hate being that stooge with their wipers still running when there is no rain. I can NOT allow myself to be that guy... and don't get me started on those stooges that turn their car ignition off when parking with their wipers MID WIPE. You just don't leave those things sitting up on your windscreen like a teenage boy watching a Victoria's secret show. You just don't do that. Be responsible and put them away...

In fact... just be responsible and use some Obsessive Compulsive Windscreen Wiper Frugality.

Mr OCWWF out. Wait, that was too fast.

Mr O.C.W.W.F. out. Better.