Today I spent the day in a work sponsored driver safety course, learning how I can be seriously injured or killed by a twisted seat belt, be made a paraplegic by slouching sideways in the passenger seat, and be killed with with a deadly combination of my own flailing arms and the airbag in the event of a car crash.

The name dropping instructor, a slightly eccentric balding older gentleman with an uncanny ability to casually drop 'street' references to drugs and call every other driver out there 'intellectually disabled' in his series of lectures was chiding us on the importance of taking our safety into our own hands.

You never know what the other drivers will do... a red light does not guarantee your safety... someone jacked up on cocaine in a stolen car won't give way to you at a stop sign... don't hit your brakes to discourage tailgating drivers because you never know how sharp their samurai swords are... don't speed in school zones because you are destined to have to pick small children out from under your car... always check for children under your car before you drive off anywhere... truckers are on more pills than a Balinese nightclub so beware etc etc etc.

He was using the recent tragic story about Eli Westlake, who was tragically run down by a Pymble woman who was dosed up on a cocktail of 2 bottles of wine, four Valium tablets, an ecstasy tablet (which the 50 year old instructor referred to as an 'eccy') and two cones. Apparently the two got into a disagreement, during the course of which Eli threw some cheese-balls at the woman's car... she retaliated by driving at him once, clipping him with her mirror... not happy with her work she drove at him again, ramming him down a flight of stairs and crushing him with her car.

The instructor baited us...

"So what does this tell you about your safety, and what you can assume about people?"

- silence from the group of business executives -

"What is the moral of the story?"

The sound of a throat clearing at the back of the room... and then the timid, yet rather mischievous reply...

"Don't throw cheese-balls at cars?"