If you know me, you know I like to joke, a lot. Sometimes not everyone understands my jokes. In fact, it unfortunately happens pretty regularly... In my head I am at the dinner table, the life of the party passing witty social comment and humourous observations with alarming ease. Yet in reality sometimes everyone around me just stares at me horrified. Really. Horrified. At times it can seem like I am sitting at the table in a batman suit, you know the one where he had nipples? Yeah, that one. Sometimes (as it was pointed out at a recent birthday party during the speeches) being friends with me often leaves one requiring a lot of psychological and emotional therapy.

Interestingly, this insight was shared on more than one occasion during the birthday speeches... and it wasn't even my birthday! At the time, I thought there might have been a meaning to their mouth words - a real point behind what they were saying, but try as I might, I just couldn't work it out... hmm.

Simply put, don't ever take me too seriously ever. Because I say things to get a reaction and make people laugh... it's just a part of me. If I ever send you a random message calling you a uterus, or telling you that Jesus is hanging out in your shower with a pair of scissors, it means I think the world of you. That in mind, when you read the following little exchange, don't send me hatemail - my inbox is full. Just chill, take an enema pill and let the good times roll...

"So why are you drinking beer all of a sudden?"

"Because I am thirsty..."

"But you never used to drink... why do you drink now?"

"Oh right... I drink to take away the pain."

"What pain?"

"The pain of having you as a mother!" **

"..... sniff"

Parents, look and marvel... don't you all wish your children were as polite and friendly as me? Don't try and hide it. You love you, you just don't actually know it yet.

** This line seemed like a funny idea at the time. Obviously the more my mother cried, the less funny it became. Even still, I think it was funny for a good 15 - 20 minutes... hehe.