If you are a regular reader of LOS, you may well be aware that yesterday morning a wicked enchantress called irony appeared from behind a bright orange forklift and punched me in the face. To cut it short, an a manouver designed to avoid what turned out to be the sound of a forklift bouncing off the walls, I accidentally bounced a forklift off a roller door. A loud brightly coloured metal roller door. Awesome.

But it got me thinking about other times I have been slapped in the face by irony in the past. And a prime example of being bitch-slapped by irony actually happened just the other evening. I was going to dinner from a friends house, and asked him for a pain killer just before we left. Now, let me make a confession about something before we continue... I can't swallow tablets. No matter how hard I try and swallow, those little buggers touch my throat and cause me to cough, gag and bring up my lunch. Even those tiny little fluro blue Demazin tablets can have me gagging faster than a.... you know what? I'm not even going to finish that joke. Point is, I can't swallow tablets.

Now, normally when I take pain killers -which is pretty rare cause I'm tough like Michael Jackson- they are your standard household varieties like Panadol or Nurofen tablets and such, which I chew and swallow with milk. It tastes disgusting I know, but it is either a few moments of bad taste or a few agonising hours of period pain.

But Reggie presented me with two of the biggest pain killer capsules I had ever seen. They were glowing an evil bright red colour, and were the size of dogs balls eggs. This was never going to end well. Seeing as though I had to act tough in front of Reggies little nephew and his female babysitter, I figured I'd just pop the red eggs into my mouth with some water, chew, swallow and be on my way... at least that is what I figured.

It went down a little differently - I chewed, swallowed, chewed some more, and as I tried to take a breath the liquid capsules started burning my throat. They burnt so badly that I started coughing and gagging and spewing my water and chewed capsule into the sink. The pain in my throat was so bad and affected my throat to such an extent that I actually lost my voice, I lost my very essence of communication in the midst of this choking and searing pain.

And then the irony struck me like a wayward cartoon anvil. Why is a tablet whose sole existance is to relieve pain, causing me such intense pain? Why is something designed to take away the pain in my head, causing even more pain in my throat? Oh Irony you wicked child, why do you choke me?!

You know, I am sure there is a moral in all of this... something about having the right tools for the wrong job, or how as people we can have all the talents and gifts necessary to achieve something, only we have forced ourselves into the wrong place instead of letting things flow...

...but right now all I can think about is that damned irony. Stupid evil pain causing pain killers.