And so it is, my brother the enigma returns. Previously seen in other Life Of Such blog posts, such as "Oh I fell down the stairs and it's not my F$%&ing fault", and "Oh, I got caught out forging hours in my L's test log book... but it's not my F$%&ing fault", or "Oh, I steal your mirrors and hide them in my room, but it's not my F$%&ing fault", Sam returns in his latest epic...

...It is titled "My heart stopped working so I almost needed the defibrillator in hospital (and it's not my F$%&ing fault!)"

I can tell you are all shocked right now... but the real shocking part is that for once, as far as we can ascertain, it really ISN'T his fault this time. Wonders never cease.

In all seriousness, Sam spent last Saturday night in hospital. His heart rate accelerated and his heart was struggling to pump blood around his body. His brain was being starved of oxygen and he began twitching and shaking, and he had to be injected with some special drug to slow his heart rate down.

When that didn't work, and his heart rate climbed above 200 beats per minute, the doctors raced him into the resuscitation room as they were expecting the worst... that his heart would give out under the stress. When his heart rate continued to climb to 230 beats per minute, doctors fired up the defibrillator, as the human heart goes into cardiac arrest around 240 BPM. To put that in perspective, Sams maximum heart rate under severe exercise should be no more than around 195-200. Past that is dangerous. To make matters worse, he apparently needs to have heart surgery to correct the issue, although in saying that the doctors are not fully aware of what the actual issue is.

But by far the ultimate worst hardest to handle badderest thing, is that Sam is no longer allowed to drink sugary drinks, any energy drinks, or eat any foods with MSG. So basically his entire diet consisting of 'a coke and chinese from across the shops' is now off limits.

Mmm... I feel like Chinese... Hungry Sam?

Will out.