There is a battle raging in the USA, and it is being waged in the churches, on the streets and in the pants of every Christian teenage male. No sex. Keeping the trouser snake in its cage. Cutting out the monkey business. No dancing the funky chicken and definitely no riding the pony. Oh, and did I mention no sex before marriage or your eyes will fall out of your skull, and your body will be slowly eaten by worms. It's in the bible. Almost... and well, now we have road signs.

Churches have been 'beating the sex drum' (so to speak) for quite some time now, and from memory this stems back years ago, back to the times of the Romans when Christians began to associate 'piety' with 'sexual abstinence' after the Romans began circulating rumours accusing Christians engaging in secret sex rituals during meetings to give the fledgling faith a bad name. English Christian warriors during the 1700's were banging on against the evils of contraception, and today we have the abstinence movement.

The abstinence movement is based in the U.S., and has spread throughout the Christian church. Now, churches preach the dangers of sex outside of marriage and through selling conformity as rebellion, aim to convince teenagers everywhere that it is cool to keep their trouser snake in its natural environment - 'the underpant'.

Which brings us to these hideous road signs and billboards appearing in the USA. Chucky, (lets call him chucky) is announcing to the entire world that he wants to become an engineer, and that sex is going to slowly suck away his brain power faster than milk through a straw. So naturally for Chucky, the choice is obvious, he will choose calculators over carnal gymnastics. Good for you Chucky, good for you. For someone doing an Arts degree, the choice might have been different.

Cut forward four years and Chucky has finally achieved his dream and became an engineer, but due to unforseen economic circumstances he was laid off in a cost cutting company departmental merger. Due to an oversupply of single male Christian engineers, he was unable to get another job and now works serving fries at Hungry Jacks.

Realistically, these billboards might be doing those studious boys (and girls) a huge favour later in life. Those billboards are not so much about swearing off sex as they are about being able to play effective catch up later on in life. I mean, because telling the attractive ladies at the bar that you happen to be an 'engineer' is much more likely to get you laid than telling them that you are 29 and still working at hungry jacks. Or an accountant for that matter.

To illustrate my point, I made a little photoshopped billboard for your pleasure. Or not pleasure as the case may be if you happen to be an accountant.