As is often the case on a Sunday afternoon - after hitting up the Ryde extension service in the morning, chatting to "Matty T and the infinite combover", and of course eating all the hot wedges in the lounge, a certain group of us often decide to go out for lunch.

By "going out for lunch" what we really mean is that we all have a little talk, and list a number of high class eateries, and after what seems like an eternity, just decide to go back to the abode of Josh and Fi for a bbq lunch, because it is cheaper than almost any restaraunt, and the food actually tastes way better. Seriously, invite yourself around sometime... hopefully the possum won't throw stuff at you. And the neighbor won't wander into their yard pissed as a newt. Hopefully.

Well, one day over some big juicy steaks, Glover casually drops 2 lines into the conversation. Now, Glover happens to do this in a pretty predictable - yet highly effective - way. He has dropped it a few times now... I'll lay out the template for you.

1) "Make some outrageous statement here"
2) *pause*
3) Look confused and say "Oh, I thought I told you already".

This time it was:
"Oh yeah, once I killed a dog with my bear hands..."
*Pause* (Table stares thinking wtf?)
"Oh, I thought I had told you about that".

Apparently back in NZ, where sheep and humans are free to mingle without judgement, Glover was collecting money for a charity, and as he walked down the driveway, a pitt bull ran out and decided to get a bit of Glovers knee meat. Having tasted this knee meat, the dog wouldn't leg go and just locked its jaw on his leg.

Glover did what any real Chuck Norris fan would do... and punched the dog. Once. In the head. Needless to say, a few days later when Glover and the dogs owner met, things got akward....

"How is your knee?"
"Oh, its ok... it will be fine - hows your dog"
"Yeah, umm... it is dead."

The moral of the story is twofold.
Firstly, don't encourage Glover to tell blood filled stories while you are trying to eat steaks. It just doesn't do well for your digestion.
Secondly, don't let Glover near your pets. Unless you don't really like them.