Over the weekend I was given the opportunity of attending the wedding of two friends at a winery in the Hunter Valley. For those internationals among us, the Hunter Valley is just north of Sydney, and is Australias oldest wine growing region. Tour operators take busloads of drunk customers around the region, where they go to winery after winery, sampling the wines and generally boozing it up before jumping back on the mini bus bound toward the next closest estate.

The wedding itself was held at the 'Hope Estate' winery, and was beautiful. The view across the hills, the lake and the mob of kangaroos munching away in the background was wonderful. The green hills, giant wine casks and vineyards looked spectacular. Oh, and I suppose the bride and groom scrubbed up alright too.

But it wasn't all love and kisses. There were a few things worthy of life of such discussion. For instance, we managed to reduce the 2 hour trip to a meager 1 hour 30 mins, through the clever use of a physical phenomenon known as 'speed'. There was a reason for this.

Lou A certain someone hates being late for weddings. In fact, last time we attended a wedding, this particular person tried to kill me, and then barrel-rolled out of my moving car, just to make sure she made it to the ceremony before the bride, who was a whole 3 metres ahead. Needless to say, I managed to drive back up 300 metres of hill, park the car. Sit there and stitch my head back on, walk down to the ceremony and meet her family before the bride even appeared. The barrel-roll seemed a little over the top.

At this Birdsall wedding, there was no such problem, as we arrived 20 minutes early. And the bride arrived over 60 minutes late. So there was plenty of time to sit around being pelted by falling gumnuts. I'm glad we didn't miss out on those gumnuts.

There were other things too, like the chocolate factory on the same road as the winery. We saw the signs and then started speaking about how nice it would be to have a wedding at a chocolate factory (provided it looked nice). But then I came across a minor issue. You see, the bride spends up to 8 months dieting, and slimming down to fit into her wedding dress, and as is the habit, once the ring is on the finger, brides tend to... uh... let themselves go a little. Which is fine I guess, but do you really want to kick that whole 'letting yourself blow out a little' process off inside a chocolate factory? It doesn't sound like the most promising start.

"And do you, take this man for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in.... um...I'm sorry, but is that chocolate smeared down the front of your dress? Are you eating during the wedding vows??"

There are so many problems with that idea, and unless the bride is fatally allergic to chocolate, I don't recommend it.

Inside the reception, amongst the giant wine casks and home made wooden candle chandeliers the fun didn't stop. After drinking a little too much too soon after not eating that day, and having to hold onto the bar for a while, things improved. A little. I spent much of the night being immature and trying to get things stuck in Jordan Giles giant afro. Little chocolate sticks, flower petals and the tops of those little mini-butter tubs seemed to be the order of the day for Jordo's hair. Except once, I threw a chocolate stick a little too far, and it hit a girl. Who got a little annoyed with me. But hey, its a wedding, and you can't have a wedding without alcohol and boys throwing things. Its tradition.

Like at the very end of the night, when Craig and Rach finally left, everyone gave them a guard of honour with sparklers and tea light candles. It looked great, and seemed to be a great idea until you remember the proven mathematical equation of males + alcohol + throwable fire = bad idea. Now, I won't mention any names, but Cam Barker someone may or may not have thrown a few sparklers in the air that may or may not have come within an inch of setting the hair ofJordan Giles someone with more hair than Fran Drescher on fire and burning a hole in some girls expensive dress. Still, if you hand out sparklers at a wedding at night to guys, you should have taken those risks into consideration.

Anyways, to Craig and Rach, all the best in Europe and Norway for the next 5 months. And to see some of my pics of the wedding, taken on my mobile and touched up a little in photoshop, click here.... wait... no... click HERE.