Someone asked what I was doing at uni today. I replied "Learning Stuff". That is what people are expected to do at university, am I correct? Well, yes... and no.

Let me explain. You are presented with a chunk of information. I will use a piece from my latest uni reading as an example.

A migration question was not included in the Australian census until 1971; accordingly it is not possible precisely to document changes in migration patterns during the first three phases of the Mobility Transition. However, data for the 1966-1971 period are indicative of patterns in the latter part of this phase. This shows the dominance of intra-urban migration, which accounts for more than half of all moves. Finally there was a substantial increase in the level and complexity of circulation. This was associated with the exponential increase in personal mobility afforded by greater affluence, development of public and private transport.

Now, my first reaction after reading that is "Does this guy need a life or what?". Eventually it soaks in though, and my brain learns what I call "stuff", about the increasing complexities of mobility and inter-urban migration patterns. But that information doesn't stay in my head for all time. Oh no.

Realistically, when I say I 'learn stuff' at uni, what I really mean is that the information goes in one ear, pretends to make itself at home for around 10 weeks, and then when I decide that my head doesn't need it any more, or that the information is boring, or I just straight out do not like the information at all, I simply open an envelope and say the magic words "It's time to go.... STUPID WASTE OF TIME KNOWLEDGE ABOUT SOUTH AUSTRALIAN MIGRATION PATTERNS." The audience applauds, and wave signs and cheer, and the last piece of knowledge standing wins one million dollars. Or a can of tuna, whichever is cheaper.

Really, my uni head is just like big brother. There is a sauna and a hot tub, where drunk pieces of knowledge get it on, and make all the up-tight folks in the broadcasting and political spheres get all angry and upset and demand that there be less smooching between "human migration patterns" and "geographical perspectives", and how dare "educational perspectives shower naked!". Cause knowledge getting it on is just so so wrong.

So at the end of the day, when I look back on what I really learned at uni... it was how to get by without actually learning anything. It was learning the skills of selective cramming, learning as little as I can, in as little time possible, and turning that into credits and distinctions.