mantrum (mahn-truhm) noun
: a violent demonstration of rage or frustration from a man, usually after being subjected to hours on end of aimless wandering through a shopping complex on the insistance of spouse / partner.
Example: Poor guy... he just broke down and had a mantrum!

I have posted before on the phenomenon that is the "mantrum". Most frequently occurs in the unreasonably busy build up to Christmas. If you have seen the governator in "Jingle all the way" you will know what I am talking about. That move makes it ok to assault reindeer. And get those animals drunk.

But I have seen those same types of men again over the past week... I have been working for coca-cola and visiting supermarkets, one after another. And regardless of the supermarket, its location or even the time of day, you still see them. Men reduced to oxen, chained and tethered to the market wagon trolley.

The men aren't really there to provide any positive imput into the female's shopping experience. They are simply beasts of burden, destined to a shopping trip consisting of no more than tailing their partner along endless aisles full of bright colours. Stop, go, wait, go, stop, turn left, stop, wait, go, wait turn right and repeat until you hit aisle 23.

And woe unto that man, that tethered beast of burden who strays too far from his master, or whom lags behind his mistress in the BBQ aisle, for that beast shall be subjected to death stares, the feminine eye daggers of the natural world, accompanied by sharp hisses through clenched jaws. The hiss is subtle, loud enough to pull the man into line, but quiet enough so as not to attract the attention of the other shopping she devils.

But I suppose I shouldn't complain. This post was originally to be a proposal for a new law. A law that would make it illegal for a woman to operate a shopping trolley without the front of the trolley, and her face being in perfect alignment.

No more should women be allowed to drive a trolley forward down an aisle at walking pace while looking right. Or left for that matter. From what I have noticed, is that women seem to look any other direction than the one in which the shopping trolley is moving.

Women I implore you, look straight. Watch where you are going. I do not need my feet run over again in the drinks aisle. If you cannot do this, please, bring your husband ox shopping with you.