There are a few things I have seen and heard over this Christmas / New Years break that I am pretty sure I can do without ever hearing or seeing again.

nipples...
Im not talking about seeing ordinary nipples at the beach, because that doesn't worry me at all. In fact, I'm not even talking about that Mentos add where the guy's nipples become extra (and may I add - handy) appendages. I'm talking about sister nipples.

For goodness sake child, you are married now, get a bikini that fits so I NEVER have to see that kind of stuff again... I mean, I ate that day and everything!

seafood
I really don't like it when the food that my mate and brother in law caught - the food harvested from our very ocean - the food I am about to eat, looks a little too much like horse anus for my liking.

See that pic? You know what I am talking about.

the carseat...
Now we all know that many a child was concieved in a moment of passion on the carseat... but do you have to tell us about it? Especially when we are sitting on that actual seat?

And please realise it gets worse when you start going into detail explaining why the electronic seat now twists when you move it forward and backwards...

Oh, and I could do without hearing a husband and wife say:

"Ouch... I can't, the handbrake is digging into me..."

"Well... now you know what I go through when we... oh, Hi Will!"

thrush it out
...finally from the 'please don't ever say that again at a Christmas dinner' gross files:

"What did she have a again?... a hic... hicket?"

"A what?"

"Or was it one of those haemorrhoid things...?"

"I don't know."

"Wait... what do Women get?"

"Thrush?"

If I don't have to experience these things again next Christmas, I shall count it as a great year.