It has been an interesting few days of competition... We have been having the Commonwealth games. For the benefit of those readers not from the British Empire, the commonwealth games are like the olympics, but without the big strong teams like Russia, China and the USA, and with only the pansy teams like New Zealand and England. And Australia goes around whooping everyone. Except for Sierra Leone. Their athletes magically 'disappear' from the athletes village as soon as they hit the country. Since the games started, 11 out of 22 athletes from that little african nation have high-jumped the fence, and become illegal immigrants.

In other competition news, the Archibald prize (a portrait competition) has been run and won... So I thought maybe we could combine the two, and someone could do a painting of some african athletes 'hurdling' the games village fence... call it 'first across the line'. Then I thought about some other painting ideas...

Country Loving...
There are two lovers, lying in long grass with white flowers... they are partially undressed, and holding each other in a passionate embrace. The painting should be in the shape of binoculars.

The end of toto
In this scene, the inside of a winter log cabin is warmly lit from the flames of a roaring log fire. Next to the fire is a large, homely looking red armchair, and sitting at the foot of that armchair is the pet dog, sleeping soundly by the warm fire. Only the dog doesn't realise that his tail has just caught fire.

exit from eden...
Because we all love a bible painting... This one has Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the garden of eden under the watchful eyes of God, who hovers over both of them inside a big grey cloud. As they leave, Adam looks at Eve and immitates the look on Gods face...

monkey business...
In this painting, George Bush is standing in front of a crowd of people, trying to sound intelligent. But like the monkey he is, he ends up making people laugh and throws his own poo at them...