My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps....
(Black Eyed Peas).

That song, sick as it is, just makes me laugh every single time I hear it. Its stupidness makes me laugh. Most of our male customers that stock up on 8 chocolate bars at 10am have lady lumps. In fact, they have enough lumps for 3 ladies.

I digress.

It was playing one morning at work, and this old teacher. And by old I mean old, at LEAST 40, shimmied into the store.

"Hey dudies".
The whole time at the counter, she was singing 'Mamma Mia' and wiggling her hips seductively. She was about as seductive as an axe. And old axe. With chips in the blade, and way too many splinters in the handle. As she leaves she smiles at us, and in that old 'Hi im 45 going on 16 way' says "Ok Dudes - Split you later".

Ive never seen a 40yo teacher that drunk early in the morning. It was like she was seriously trying to seduce us, with her coolness. Which by the way, was SERIOUSLY lacking.

The whole time she was there, all I could hear was:
"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps...."

On the same day, a young slightly overweight female gym instructer flirted with me and attempted to get me to go to the gym down the road.

Maybe she saw my lovely Man-Lady lumps.