I saw a girl today. She was a little large. By little, I mean rather. She was pashing some poor guy (who had a sheepish grin on his face), dancing around him, and doing some kind pelvic thrusting thing that my innocent eyes have never seen before. The kind of thing that makes mum's grab their twelve year old sons and cover their little wide uncorrupted eyes. Infact, it was so bad that my mum would have smacked me just for looking. Lucky she wasnt there huh. Oh, and all this took place in the middle of the street at a bustop near some shops, with other people at the bustop that was on the street with people that had shops with people. Those people got a free show tonight.

I wonder if that guy really had a sheepish grin, or if that strained smile was simply a show to mask his fear. Save yourself man, throw yourself under the next bus that even looks like its coming your way. It probably wont feel too dissimilar to getting pelvic thrusted by the walrus girl. There isn't much difference in size between the two, but there is definitely more honour awaiting you under the wheels of the bus than under the quivering barge booty of cellulite asphyxiation.

If you've got the booty of a walrus, throw your hands UP!