Children are such good entertainment value. Except for when they go feral and attack in supermarkets. And even then, if its not your child, and your a safe distance away from the distraught mother, it can be funny.
Not only can they be funny… they can curious and easily mislead and confused as well.
My little four year old sister was climbing in the pantry… literally, feet off the floor, arms stretched, little grubby fingers grasping and tugging at this old plastic bag. She had discovered a secret stash of ‘little chocolate things’… and by ‘discovered’ I mean ‘I told her’ that there was a bag of chocolaty goodness up in the pantry. Where we never keep chocolate.
She seemed a little unsure about these particular chocolate things, as they seemed just a little bit different to all the other chocolate things around the house… She paused, her little eyebrows raised as if she was half expecting ‘the chocolate thing’ to bite her. In the end, her sophisticated child-reasoning intellect prevailed, what the hell, Chocolate is chocolate right?
Mouth opens – Grubby hand goes up – chocolate thing goes down
3 chews. Her face changes. She looks at me. The evil brother that kept encouraging her to eat the ‘chocolate thing’ purely for my own amusement. What did this chocolate bean look like?
A bit like a coffee bean… well, a lot like a coffee bean. It was a coffee bean.
She chews – and starts gagging… she death stares me as she climbs back down from the cupboard…. And then – treachery forgotten, she hopped on her scooter like nothing had ever happened, and rode off into the sunset of the living room.
Enter Bethany, sister/victim number 2. Eats coffee bean thinking it’s chocolate. Spits it all over the floor.
Bethany – ‘They aren’t lollies Gabby!’
Gabby – ‘They are lollies to me!’
I love that proud defiance. Too proud to admit that what she thought were lollies, was actually something that tastes like charcoal. And she is only 4!!
Oh, and the other thing? One of the kids stole those coffee beans from Coles thinking they were free chocolates for kids. Children are so hella funny.